


ten explanations over marmalade

by deepandlovelydark



Series: count to ten and run for cover (B-sides) [2]
Category: Il buono il brutto il cattivo | The Good The Bad and The Ugly (1966)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1970s, Crack, Multi, PWP, Trans, queer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-27 04:13:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17759561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepandlovelydark/pseuds/deepandlovelydark
Summary: In which Blondie has not noticed things, and Tuco has questions.





	ten explanations over marmalade

**Author's Note:**

> ...so for a while there I was going with a notion that Angel Eyes was trans. He still might be. 
> 
> enter Tumblr chat about "how might Blondie not know that Angel Eyes is trans, given that they were living together for six months?"
> 
> so I came up with several explanations

1. “Blondie, Blondie,” Tuco reproves him, rapping the strap-on against the kitchen table. “How didn’t you notice?

“It was always dark!”

 

2. “A specialised form of skin transplant,” Angel Eyes explains, rather clinically. “Would you care to see the scars?”

Tuco rolls his eyes to the heavens. “You two call this breakfast conversation?”

“No,” Blondie says, to Angel Eyes’ “Yes.”

 

3. “…oh, I see,” Tuco says wisely. “Blondie was the bottom!”

Only after ten minutes of silence, does it occur to him that Blondie still thinks he’s hetero. 

Or thought, anyway.  

 

4. “Testosterone therapy,” Angel Eyes says, buttering the toast. “Small but fit for purpose, with the aid of regular shots and a vacuum pump.”

“…a pump? Can I try this?”

 

5. “I kept blacking out after the rope play,” Blondie confesses. 

“That was  _our_ thing!” Tuco bursts out; and refuses to even look at him for the rest of the meal. 

 

6. “We didn’t fuck. That’s all.”

“If I thought he was asexual I wouldn’t mind,” Angel Eyes says. “But I think he was only holding off out of pure spite, and that annoyed me.”

“Or loyalty to me?” 

“Tuco, we never fucked either,” Blondie says, not looking out from behind the newspaper. 

Tuco glares at him. “You could have let me  _pretend.”_

 

7. “He told me it was shot off by a civil war cannon.”

“And you believed that, Blondie? Really?”

“You’d better believe me, if you want to keep yours,” Angel Eyes says indifferently. 

Tuco gulps. 

 

8. “Of course he knew,” Angel Eyes explains. “He’s pretending he didn’t because the only reason he does know, is that we met when I hired him out as a prostitute.”

“Tch,” Tuco says. “Blondie, Blondie. You should have wired me for a loan with a good sob story, like I would have done.“

“I’m not talking about this,” Blondie growls, and leaves the room then and there. 

 

9. “What was I supposed to notice?” Blondie asks, apparently baffled. 

“…have I been sleeping in the same house as two  _girls_ for a fortnight and not noticed?”

Angel Eyes dumps a milk carton over his head. 

 

10. “Tuco, does it even matter?”

“Of course it does,” Tuco says boldly. “If I’m going to join in.”

There’s a silence, as though neither of them has thought of that. 

Well. They will now. 


End file.
